July 12, 2006

"March Together for Life" guy's comments keep coming...

from monday, july 10th, 9:46pm until tuesday, july 12th, 4:18am pete received more than 600 comments on his "Satire?" post. it seems that digg and the blogger community are really letting poor pete have it.

a sampling:

Pete, please: listen carefully. "Caroline Weber" does not exist.

The Onion article you attacked is not "her piece." It was written by a comedy writer. Who is not "Caroline Weber," has not just had an abortion, and is more than likely not even a woman.

It is truly stunning that you do not understand this. That you still do not understand this, even after being mocked mercilessly on the previous thread. Even after being told, repeatedly, to get a clue, you're still in dire need of one. Oof.

no amount of stammering is going to get you out of the enormous idiot hole you have dug for yourself. good thing the internet is anonymous because you'd have throngs of people driving past your house, pointing and laughing.

Hey man did you know that Christ is convering to Islam... its (sic) in the same issue.

You haven't given up yet? My my, you are braver than I am. If I had made a gaffe like that (unlikely, as my IQ is above 50), I'd never ventured online again. Unplugged my computer, just to make sure. It's a comforting thought that the pro-life movement consists of drooling halfwits like you.

and just one more (though i haven't even scratched the surface):

I don't know what else to say. I mean, it's one thing to misinterpret Onion material as genuine reporting (the "liberal media" has been at it for years), but to follow up with what you wrote? I just... WOW.

Seriously, "Caroline Weber" is a pen name, a character. "She" doesn't exist, and never will.

The Onion is in the business of fake news. In other words, they take topics and twist them to such ludicrous degrees that they become funny and satirical.

The Onion is as real a newspaper as "The Colbert Report" is a real conservative's show.

I used to think that pro-lifers were just as intelligent and smart as me, just that we differed on this issue. The differences clearly go deeper than that.

You talk about how horrible it is to live in a world that tolerates abortion. When you take away the ability, the CHOICE, of a woman to have control over her own body (what's next, a man can't choose to get a vasectomy because that will kill potential fetuses in the future?), you know what slippery slope we'll be falling towards? Facism, where the few powerful people at the top of the governmental food chain will dictate everything a person does with their lives. Is that what you want? Do you really want to turn an American into the next Mussolini or Hitler? Cause that's what you're oppressive goals entail.

And don't forget, the Onion is fake news. Not real. As in: MADE UP!!!


i love that jason ends that well-written missive with "Cheers!" excellent!

however, the best thing i found in the comments is this gem -- another old school onion article: God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz
"Right about now, I want to send a shout-out to each and every nigga who's shown Me love through the years," said the Lord, His booming voice descending from Heaven. "I got mad love for each and every one of you niggaz. Y'all real niggaz out there, you know who you are. Y'all was there for me, and it's about time I'm-a give some love back to God's true crew."

"All y'all niggaz, y'all be My niggaz," the Lord added.

"A pair of shout-out tablets handed down by the Lord."